Is this really in the client's best interest?

Lately, I’ve been hearing a lot about moments in the therapeutic and coaching relationship where things take an unexpected turn. Clients describe being told their practitioner isn’t the right fit, or that they’ve reached the limits of what that practitioner can offer.  

Often this is framed as being in the client’s best interest. 

Sometimes, that may be true.

But more often than we talk about, clients walk away from these conversations feeling confused, ashamed, or self-blaming. They’re left wondering: Was it me? Was I too much? Was I too hard to work with? Can I even be helped?  

At the same time, I hear from practitioners who genuinely want to do the right thing—who are trying to name their limits, practice ethically, and show up with integrity. This is also really important and it matters too.

But I wonder what would happen if we took a closer look at how these moments unfold.

When we - as practitioners - position early exits as “client-centred” without taking time to unpack the emotional impact, we risk leaving clients to carry something they didn’t create. Sometimes what’s being named as a misalignment is actually practitioner discomfort, or fear, or uncertainty.

None of us are immune to those feelings. But client-centred care asks us to be honest about what’s ours to hold—and what’s not.

Just to be totally clear…..this isn’t about never referring out or acknowledging limits. It’s about noticing when those choices are made prematurely. When we’ve stepped back just as the work was beginning to stretch us.

It’s also about remembering that being client-centred isn’t just a stance. It’s a practice. One that asks us to stay curious, relational, and accountable—even when we feel out of our depth.

I’m curious—what helps you discern when stepping back is in service of the client, and when it might be self-protection in disguise?